...And
A White Picket Fencer
(A warm, sunny Sunday in the park, where life is beautiful, the
grass is green, and love is in the air.)
Girl
seated on stage left, her leg hanging down from apron, swinging
it back and forth, happy, expectant. Up-stage right, a Balloon
Man mills about selling heart-shaped helium balloons.
A Transient
Person ambles in stage left, crosses to Balloon Man, reaches out
open hand, wanting something. The Balloon Man offers money, but
the Transient Person shakes her head, the Balloon Man offers soda,
but she shakes her head again. The Balloon Man offers a balloon,
she takes it and crosses to garbage can stage right, starts to
rummage through it.
Boy comes on-stage with flowers in hand, sees Girl, she doesn’t
notice him. He sneaks up behind her, surprises her, gives her
flowers, she adores them, he sits. They both pucker up for a kiss,
she waves hand in front of her nose, he pulls out mouth spray,
sprays once, twice, better, they both kiss, hug, happy.
Transient
Person continues going through garbage can, looking for thrown-away
treasures.
Muscle
Man enters stage right doing bicep curls with a small dumbbell,
stops to show Balloon Man his prowess, Balloon Man thumbs up.
Boy
notices Balloon Man, motions for Girl to wait and is about to
get up, but she grabs his tie, pulls him down, kisses again, they
sigh.
Boy
gets up, crosses stage to Balloon Man at the same time that Muscle
Man crosses to park bench behind where Girl is seated. Muscle
Man luxuriates on bench, curls dumbbell coolly.
With
sleep approaching, the Transient Person settles herself on the
ground, lying down near the garbage can. Still holding the balloon,
it bobs lazily in the air.
Boy
and Balloon Man nod to each other, smile, Boy digs into pocket,
pays money, Balloon Man gives balloon. Excited, Boy turns back
toward Girl, is about to take a step, and suddenly stops dead
in his tracks just as…
a Sexy
Woman sashays on-stage dragging a red sweater behind her. Dumbstruck,
the Boy lets go of the balloon, it floats up into the sky. At
the same time…
Muscle
Man catches Girl’s eye and her schoolgirl curiosity. Muscle
Man flexes arm, shows off, Girl turns away out of embarrassment,
can’t help herself, looks back. Muscle Man comes down from
bench, sits close to Girl just as…
Sexy
Woman, still dragging red sweater, circles once around Boy like
a shark, drops sweater, and goes to Balloon Man. Boy picks up
sweater. Sheepishly, Balloon Man gives Sexy Woman a balloon, she
turns around, finds Boy holding sweater in his hands just as…
Muscle
Man motions for Girl to feel his bicep. She giggles, embarrassed
and flushed, but excited, touches his flexed bicep just as…
Sexy
Woman takes sweater from nervous Boy’s hands, smiles, gives
him a thank-you kiss on the cheek. And that’s when…
Girl
sees Boy being kissed, Boy sees Girl touching bicep, both freeze,
stunned, horrified at the other’s infidelity.
Dragging
the sweater behind her again, Sexy Woman circles once again around
Boy, then struts her stuff towards the admiring Muscle Man, drops
her sweater, exits stage left. Muscle Man watches her departure,
hurries to pick up sweater, hurries off-stage after her.
Breaking
free from their paralysis, Girl and Boy change places, storming
to opposite sides of the stage just as…
Loud
swishing noises are heard from off-stage: Foils fiercely whipping
through the air.
Two
Fencers, completely covered in fencing outfits, enter from opposite
sides of the stage, their foils slicing, slashing. They continue
walking until they meet face-to-face center-stage, foils lengths
apart.
Crossing
their arms across their chests, Girl and Boy continue to shoot
daggers across the stage at each other with their eyes. They then
stalk up-stage just as the Fencers swish/slash their way downstage:
each pair scrutinizing the other, sizing the other up, getting
ready for battle.
Girl,
Boy and the Fencers stop moving, foils freeze in the air. Each
pair faces each other for several long, tense seconds, the Balloon
Man scurries off-stage, and then…
The
two Fencers battle, striking, slicing, slashing, parrying, dodging.
One gets the upper hand, and then the other. They circle each
other, attack and circle, over and over. The lines blur, which
Fencer is which? Which is the Girl’s? Which is the Boy’s?
The
battle intensifies. One is winning, beating and battering the
other. Girl and Boy, no longer able to watch the fight and afraid
for their lives, run off-stage. And then, just as the winning
Fencer is about to claim victory with a killing stroke, the losing
Fencer flees off-stage.
Victoriously,
the winning Fencer raises his arms.
The
Girl and the Boy peek their heads back in, see that the battle
is over. Ashamed of their childish behavior, they slowly ease
their way over to each other, meeting center-stage. Feeling like
heels, Girl and Boy hesitantly hug, kiss, make up. The remaining
Fencer is appalled.
The
Balloon Man peeks in, sees that the fight is over, crosses to
center-stage, offers a balloon to the newly reunited couple. They
take one, hold it between them, and slowly walk off-stage left,
each holding the other close. The Fencer is left, alone, defeated,
his foil clatters to the stage.
The
Balloon Man walks up to the lone Fencer, offers a friendship balloon.
The Fencer looks at the balloon, takes it in his hands, and pops
it – jarring the Transient Person out of her slumber. The
Balloon Man hurries off-stage right.
Yawning,
sleepily sitting up, the Transient Person notices the Fencer,
sees that he is all alone, and offers her balloon to him. Aggravated,
the Fencer throws his hands in the air.
(Lights out!)
Ian
Stigliani