The
Rorschach Rug
(Two women in bathrobes and pajamas hang out in the lounge area
of a mental health facility.)
LAURA: (Seated
on a chair, staring intently at rug on floor.) Dog. Man with a
cowboy hat. Angel. Squiggly-man with a dancing teapot. Mickey
mouse. I found Mickey Mouse, Jerri! I fucking found him!
JERRI: Where?
LAURA: There!
Fucking Mickey Mouse!
JERRI: Where?
LAURA: There!
Mickey Mouse! You see the ears? Find the ears and…
JERRI: That’s
not…
LAURA: It
is…
JERRI: …Mickey
Mouse. That’s…
LAURA: (Getting
up) No, no, sit where I’m sitting.
JERRI: That’s
not…
LAURA: Sit
where I’m sitting. You’ll see it. You can’t see
it…your standing, of course you can’t…
JERRI: (Sitting
down) Where?
LAURA: There!…Squint
your eyes.
JERRI: Looks
like…
LAURA: Mickey
Mouse.
JERRI: …a
flying saucer…50’s kinda, you know, see there’s
the…
LAURA: Flying
saucer…no. It’s a rug. Of course it’s up for interpretation.
It’s a fucking rug. (Beat) Bugs Bunny!
JERRI: Where?
LAURA: There!
Bugs Bunny! Squint your…
JERRI: I'm
squinting my fucking eyes…
LAURA: See
it? See it? See it?
JERRI: Move
over.
LAURA: (Laura
gets up, Jerri sits down) See it? The ears. The whiskers.
JERRI: Maybe
a TV set with an antenna…
LAURA: Rabbit
ears.
JERRI: Huh?
LAURA: Rabbit
ears. The old antennas, rabbit ears.
JERRI: Yeah.
LAURA: You
see it! Bugs Bunny!
JERRI: No.
LAURA: You
see it, rabbit ears.
JERRI: No.
It’s a TV.
LAURA: (Beat)
It’s a fucking rug. It’s all subjective. I see Bugs
Bunny. You see a TV set. I see…Holy shit!
JERRI: What?
LAURA: Brad
Pitt taking his pants off!
JERRI: What?
Where? No fucking way, you're pulling my leg.
LAURA: (Sarcastic)
No kidding. Brad Pitt taking his pants off. What an idiot. (Goes
back to looking at floor) Hmmm, dog sniffing his own butt.
JERRI: What?
LAURA: Nothing.
You know I was…
JERRI: What?
LAURA: I
was thinking, when we get outta here…
JERRI: Thinking
about jumping the wall again, huh?
LAURA: No,
I mean, when they let us out, through the front door, with our
bags and the handshakes and photo session…
JERRI: Photo
session?
LAURA: They
take pictures don’t they? Of us leaving, like graduation
pictures, don’t they?
JERRI: Graduation
pictures?
LAURA: I
seen ‘em downstairs, in the hallway on the walls.
JERRI: Graduation
pictures?
LAURA: No?
JERRI: No.
They kick you out, those that’re ready. Well, I mean, maybe
not "ready," but not…how can I put it? About the
graduations…they kick you out.
LAURA: No
pictures?
JERRI: Nope.
LAURA: Well,
then they…
JERRI: (Cuts
her off with a raspberry) We’re not leaving.
LAURA: Huh?
JERRI: We’re
not leaving, so don’t even…
LAURA: What?
JERRI: Fantasize?
Imagine? Day dream? We ain’t. Going anywhere. No graduation.
LAURA: That’s
not what I was told.
JERRI: And
what were you told?
LAURA: That…I…
JERRI: Was
just here for observation?
LAURA: Yeah,
the cop that escorted me here…
JERRI: Escorted?
LAURA: Yeah?
JERRI: In
a cop car?
LAURA: Yeah?
JERRI: In
handcuffs?
LAURA: Yeah.
Maybe not escorted. Dragged? The cop that dragged me in from the
courts said that I’d be here for…
JERRI: Observation.
LAURA: Yeah.
JERRI: And
when did you arrive?
LAURA: Ummm
(Counting fingers) A long time ago.
JERRI: In
a galaxy, huh?… Yeah. Graduating.
LAURA: My
husband will be worried about me.
JERRI: Umm,
excuse me, but he’s the one that called the cops on you in
the first place.
LAURA: I
was just having an emotional experience.
JERRI: Pretty
scary when your emotional experience includes a butcher’s
knife.
LAURA: He
said I was…
JERRI: What?
LAURA: He
said I was…
JERRI: What?
LAURA: He
said I was…he just said.
JERRI: Very
eloquent there, Ms. Mickey Mouse.
LAURA: It’s
a small world…
JERRI: You
better believe it.
(Beat)
LAURA: I’m
not dangerous, you know? I’m just…
JERRI: Emotional?
LAURA: So?
JERRI: What?
LAURA: Is
that some horrible offense to be emotional? To feel, to fucking
feel?
JERRI: I
guess the butcher’s knife kinda…
LAURA: What?
JERRI: Just
kinda.
LAURA: Very
eloquent there, Brad.
JERRI: That’s
me: a legend that fell.
LAURA: (Looking
at one spot on the rug, she stands up and moves around in a circle)
I see an angel flying upside down. Now it’s flying right
side up. Now it’s just flying. I used to lay on my back in
Central Park, on the Great Lawn, on the way home from school,
and look up and watch the clouds go by, and the clouds, they would,
they just became pictures in the sky, and I would just lie there
and watch and find pictures in the clouds.
JERRI: And
now you find pictures in rugs.
LAURA: No.
JERRI: No?
LAURA: Not
all rugs. I mean, it can’t be like a plain rug. It’s
got to have different tones in it, two-toned, I guess. Dark and
light areas, medium areas. It’s like a Rorschach test.
JERRI: Dr.
Abrams.
LAURA: Huh?
JERRI: You
never met Dr. Abrams. Queer guy. Tall, lanky, deep-set eyes. He
used to run these Rorschach tests on everyone.
LAURA: Dr.
Abrams?
JERRI: It
was before your time.
LAURA: Dr.
Abrams.
JERRI: He
had me in his office one day. "So what do you see?"
Nothing. "No, really, take your time. What do you see?"
Nothing. "Please, Jerri, this is an important technique in
interpreting our most inner most world. Relax. Take a deep breath.
Now look at the ink blots and tell me what you see." Martha
Stewart fucking a donkey. That was the end of that.
LAURA: Did
you?
JERRI: What?
LAURA: See
Martha Stewart fucking a donkey.
JERRI: No.
What, do you think I’m crazy? Obviously the donkey was fucking
Martha.
LAURA: You
know, I’d be lost without
my pictures.
JERRI: Why
don’t you draw?
LAURA: I
can’t draw. I’m lousy. Just stick figures.
JERRI: It
takes practice.
LAURA: I
practiced. Every day. I just never got any good. I’m…
JERRI: What?
LAURA: I’m
just not any good.
JERRI: I
was thinking…
LAURA: What?
JERRI: That
when we get outta here…
LAURA: Graduate?
JERRI: Yeah,
sure, graduate. We should go somewhere, like to the museum or
something. Look at some real pictures, famous ones.
LAURA: I’d
like that.
JERRI: Yeah,
me too. Get a couple of hot dogs and go to the museum.
LAURA: I
don’t think people are allowed to eat in the museum.
JERRI: So
what! We’ll hide ‘em in our coats. They’ll never
know.
LAURA: Yeah.
(Beat) Dolly Parton!
JERRI: Where?
LAURA: There.
JERRI: I
thought that was Mickey Mouse.
LAURA: Big
ears.
JERRI: Yeah.
Dolly Parton.
(Lights out!)
Ian
Stigliani